A crisis of crazy.
I’ve been out of the blog loop for a while and am frantically (by which I mean very slowly and only when I am in the mood) catching up. I’ve been up to my eyes in essays (which I got unreasonably stressed about), spent a week in Achill (which I got a tad over excited about), and started a new ‘job’ (by which I mean I am doing work that other people get paid for but I do not).
Somewhere in the middle of all this I had a wee wobbly about God. I used to live round the road from Kevin hargaden who would ordinarily make sense of my theological crazy but now he lives in the theological underground of Aberdeen so I took my crazy to Achill instead.
I was unable to attend our annual tenebrae service this year because of the tiny human in our house but I sort of had my own reflection, reading through the Easter story and listening to some good tunes. I’m not great at reading the bible these days. I stick with things like proverbs because it is mostly short snappy sentences. But reading this story in one sitting was very powerful to me and genuinely moving. But I also couldn’t shake the thought “this is frickin bonkers” and that’s before you get to the ‘Jesus floating away on a cloud’ bit.
Since entering ‘the real world’ in the past few years I’ve become quite self conscious about being a Christian. I’m worried what people will think. Not what they will think of God when they get to know me, just plain old what will they think of me when they know I believe this weird Jesus story. But then I realised, I study psychoanalysis. It’s bonkers at its best.
…But just because it’s crazy doesn’t make it untrue.
And then I slept.
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May 14, 2014 at 6:57 pm
Hi there! I was hoping you would be willing to answer my question I have about your blog! My name is Heather and please email me whenever you get a free moment at Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com 🙂
May 16, 2014 at 9:39 am
laughing and nodding… thanks transfarmer x