Archive for May 2014

A crisis of crazy.

May 11, 2014

I’ve been out of the blog loop for a while and am frantically (by which I mean very slowly and only when I am in the mood) catching up.  I’ve been up to my eyes in essays (which I got unreasonably stressed about), spent a week in Achill (which I got a tad over excited about), and started a new ‘job’ (by which I mean I am doing work that other people get paid for but I do not).

Somewhere in the middle of all this I had a wee wobbly about God.  I used to live round the road from Kevin hargaden who would ordinarily make sense of my theological crazy but now he lives in the theological underground of Aberdeen so I took my crazy to Achill instead. 

I was unable to attend our annual tenebrae service this year because of the tiny human in our house but I sort of had my own reflection, reading through the Easter story and listening to some good tunes.  I’m not great at reading the bible these days. I stick with things like proverbs because it is mostly short snappy sentences. But reading this story in one sitting was very powerful to me and genuinely moving.  But I also couldn’t shake the thought “this is frickin bonkers” and that’s before you get to the ‘Jesus floating away on a cloud’ bit. 

Since entering ‘the real world’ in the past few years I’ve become quite self conscious about being a Christian.  I’m worried what people will think. Not what they will think of God when they get to know me, just plain old what will they think of me when they know I believe this weird Jesus story.  But then I realised, I study psychoanalysis. It’s bonkers at its best.

…But just because it’s crazy doesn’t make it untrue.

And then I slept.