Why I quit blogging and why I may begin again…

I used to post on this blog fairly regularly but for the past couple of years it has been mostly silent.  I’d love to make excuses of house moves, job changes, studies, baby arrival, marriage commitments blah, blah, blah… but the truth is I stopped blogging because I realised I’m a jerk when I blog.  Many of not most of my previous posts have been angry, sarcastic, mocking rants that do not invite approach from people who disagree with me.  In one such post my words and judgements had been crushing to another person.  And I couldn’t undo it.  I know that I’m not responsible for everyones response and it’s the internet and things can be misunderstood etc etc.  But I sort of got to a point where I didn’t want to be that critical and I didn’t know how to go on a blog rant without mocking so I just stopped.

But over the past few days Jayber has been beating the blog drum.  He’s going to think that he is responsible for my return but he’s not (ok he is a little bit) but mostly it’s because I found a blog I really love.  weefrizz. I love it.  Reading it has made me itchy to engage again, to write again, to think again, reflect.  Reading it made me miss Espero and Jaybercrow but rumour has it they may return again too.

Today Espero asked a question “how do we live lives of adventure again?” and I hate her for asking that question because it reminds me how afraid I am as a person.  And how comfortable I have become with being ‘safe’.  Maybe beginning this blog again is my move out of safety.  I have to risk the fact that sometimes I’m too much with my ranty gub and sometimes that gub hurts others and maybe I have to risk that rather than never speaking again.  (I will try to be more sensitive though!)

There is also that feeling that I have nothing to write about these days because my life is all about dreaming about how many more minutes my child might sleep before waking AGAIN and how the F* I get him to drink from something other than my boob and if I have broken him by letting him roll off the sofa TWICE under my watch and well, you get the idea.  But as a wise man said “don’t knock the trivial – life is a series of repetitive tasks” and that sentence has given me an unusual freedom to join the blogging world again.

So I’m in!

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8 Comments on “Why I quit blogging and why I may begin again…”

  1. Sam Says:

    Welcome back!
    When I was playing around with my blog the other day I started thinking about changing the name. The rants bit made me uncomfortable for some of the reasons you articulate here. And you know I love a good rant. I’ve been realising for me its not enough to just rant, I need to think about and offer alternatives and that’s the hard bit as it means I need to do something about it and live that alternative. That’s the bit that’s exhausting and where I give up and stop speaking.
    At the same time we need the critique, the voices of the prophets. Maybe the alternatives come from others and that’s why we need community – others can do what we cannot, but only if they are made aware of it…
    I’ll stop verbally processing now…

  2. voxo Says:

    This is a hug.

    You are well and truly followed.


  3. […]  Transfarmer – you made me want to say all this. Jaybercrow…. what is keeping you?? […]

  4. Sharon Arnold Says:

    well I can certainly do with the online company of another afraid, sometimes prone-to-ranting, occasional dropper-of-the-F-bomb, weary mother!

  5. Wendy Says:

    damit, I’m getting sucked in – got to you via voxo – don’t you know I have a life to be listened to and gratefully lived..thanks though –

    I don’t think I’ve ever thought of you as a jerk –

    it’s the whole verbal processing thing, blogging is great and it does allow for discussion but it is never the substitute for a long brunch in a middleclass deli in st. andrews… for now I’ll settle for transfarmer. Thanks for the honesty.x

  6. espero Says:

    Brilliant. More!!!


  7. Yes! I was just naming-and-shaming you on my blog to try and goad you into writing… and it turns out you had already done it. I think sometimes it’s in the writing and the conversation that we learn about our own tendencies to rant, to be mean, to be simplistic, to be dishonest, to show off, etc, etc. Maybe we can all agree to call each other on it if we detect those things, push back and challenge each other a little?

    Anyway, I’m glad she-whose-laces-I’m-not-worthy-to-tie has inspired you to speak. We need your voice.

  8. transfarmer Says:

    Thanks guys, Wendy get writing and send us the link! But yes I’d rather be in St Andrews cafes with you any day!


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