three people have got me thinking this week. 1) zoomtard because of this. 2) nelly because now that i live with him he’s harder to avoid. 3) bonhoeffer who’s dead but whose words follow me around with life.
being in a marriage relationship is chipping at my heart, I could do without it to be honest but since it keeps happening I’ve decided to go with it for now. The lastest was the raw realisation that deep down I fear (or probably more honestly believe even though I know it is not theologically true) that God is ashamed of / disappointed with me. I haven’t allowed myself get close enough to God to find out otherwise.
Anyway my issues are kind of irrelevant but they were the context for thinking about what hargaden was shouting (he bangs his fists and everything) from the metaphorical pulpit on sunday about how the resurrection changes EVERYTHING. I was feeling my shit and then i was thinking but if the resurrection changes EVERYTHING then it changes this, it changes me… but I still couldn’t really get from the place of seeing it logically to feeling like it was a reality.
…then i read this for the second or third or fifth time “the christian… knows that God’s word in Jesus Christ pronounces him guilty, even when he does not feel his guilt, and God’s word in Jesus Christ pronounces him not guilty and righteous, even when he does not feel that he is righteous at all. The christian no longer lives of himself, by his own claims and his own justification, but by God’s claims and God’s justification. He lives wholly by God’s Word pronounced upon him…”
The only reality about who or what I am is what is spoken by God. And what he speaks of me and of this world comes into being. If he has declared me his beloved righteous child that is both what I am and what I will become. If his word is powerful enough to speak this world into existence i think we can be sure he is powerful enough to straighten my crooked heart.
L. praying she will live in the reality of his word spoken over her, spoken to her, spoken for her. praying she will live of His claims not her own. repentance, submission and rest is needed.