Archive for October 2, 2008

do we still grow in heaven?

October 2, 2008


“I wonder what hell is like?  Not what it is like, but what would I be like if i were there?

I wonder if Lewis is right, that i would become an eternal horror that i couldn’t imagine in my worst nightmare?

Or what if I was just me as I am today but without the potential to become a better lover of people.  (cue the eerie feeling in my stomach).”

Despite what hell is or isnt like, this thought got me thinking about the old theme of absences.  Part of what makes hell hell is not just the reality of how things are but the absence of what we long for and the inability to reach it.  The potential to live.  The potential to love.  Simply the absence of potential.  The idea that i could be frozen as i am today and never grow any more in heart is actually one of the most torturous thoughts i have ever had.

THIS in turn made me wonder about heaven.  I know there I’ll be sinless but will i be static or will there always be room for me to grow in the expanse of my heart for others?  Will there always be potential?