Did God turn His face away?

What actually happened between God and Jesus on the cross? I don’t know if you’ve ever given this much thought but for a lot of my childhood I believed the suffering of the cross was the physical pain Jesus went through. When i got a little older I began to realise there were a few more layers to this cross thing. I began to understand that the physical pain was only part of it, but what was worse than this for Jesus was the separation from God he experienced as he took on the sin of the world. I believed that at that moment when Christ ‘became sin for us’ that since our sin separates us from God it also must have separated Jesus from His Father. That God the Father had to (as we sing) ‘turn his face away’ from His Son.

This idea in my head was reinforced by the words that Jesus Himself speaks on the cross “my God my God why have you forsaken me”. It seems from these words that God did infact forsake Jesus on the cross. More than that I believed He had to otherwise the cross could not have accomplished all that it has accomplished. BUT my thinking has been flawed. So simply and yet so significantly (I have to admit im a little pissed with myself that i didn’t figure this out alone but that’s just my pride).

So, as my new friend pointed out: ‘if there were ever separation in the trinity the whole world would have ceased to exist’. Can’t argue with that right? It’s true and obvious. And yet this being true means that the way i have understood what happened between God and his Son on the cross is not quite right. God did not forsake His Son. He did not turn His face away from Him. (I was flabbergasted when my friend said this at first).

Some of you may be in protest – but hold on you say ‘what about Jesus words on the cross?’ this is where it gets even sweeter. The words that Jesus says on the cross are a quote from Psalm 22 as most of you already know. If we actually take the time to read the Psalm we realise that although the psalmist begins with cries about why God has forsaken him and is so far from saving him he comes to a place where he says these words “…You who fear the LORD, praise him! All you descendants of Jacob, honor him! Revere him, all you descendants of Israel! For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one;he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help…” You see? When Jesus quoted this Psalm that’s exactly what He was doing, quoting this psalm – his hearers wouldn’t have just heard the words my God why have you forsaken me, they would have also heard the words for He has not despised the afflicted one, He has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help. His hearers would have known this whole psalm they would have known that Jesus was referring not to a prayer of desperation but a prayer of hope. They would have heard the hope in Jesus words, but today we just hear desperation. We hear it wrong simply because we do not know scripture as we should, it is not in our minds and on our lips like it would have been in Jesus day.

It’s kinda like when i say something like “in my best behaviour i am really just like him” those of you who are sufjan stevens fans will understand that i am saying that i am a deeply sinful person because i am quoting a line from a song that is about a murder. Those of you who do not know sufjan stevens song will be like ‘what the flip?’. It’s a culture thing. I don’t have to explain myself to those of you who like sufjan you know exactly what i’m saying although i don’t actually say it. And so it is with Jesus on the cross, this phrase of despair was also a phrase of sure hope. I feel like this is something fredric Buchner would say because he talks so much about the comedy of the gospel – well, this is the comedy of the cross and Jesus knew it. As he hung there for us offering himself as the sacrifice for our sin in pain and suffering that we will never understand he at the same time knew fully the picture of what he was accomplishing also in a way that we will never understand.

At this point i now have all the how questions. Somehow Jesus has taken the world’s sin on his shoulders and yet at the same time remained one with the Father. Somehow He has experienced death and hell and yet at the same time remained one with the Father. how does this all work? – i will play with these questions on another entry on another day.

What is beauty?

I recently spent two weeks learning from the incredible Laura Smit (she has definitely been added to my list of heroes) about the theology of beauty. Over the next few weeks i will attempt to process some of my thoughts and musings here so that you can help me shed more light on this phenomenal topic. today’s entry is a light introduction into a number of questions that are often keeping me awake at night.

What is beauty? It is tempting to think there is no answer to this question. We believe that beauty is undefinable because it appears to be subjective. What you may call beautiful i may not. Take for example my crazy potter friend who has been moved to tears at a mere picture of a pot (true story i promise!) never mind the real thing. That picture did not make me cry. it barely caught my attention. In this case it seems that beauty really is ‘‘in the eye of the beholder’. But is that the truth? Here’s something my favourite potter friend has done for me – she has taught me to love pots. There was a time that i would have walked around life and barely noticed ceramics. But now i am unable to avoid noticing! everything ceramic catches my eye, i find myself drawn to touch these pieces of art, i am compelled to turn them upside down and look at it’s finish. I appreciate the texture, the colours the impressions of the artists fingers on the clay. I say to myself ‘that is so beautiful’. (maybe not enough to make me cry though!). How did this change happen? I didn’t just flick a switch inside my brain, rather as i watched her love pots she has pointed me to the beauty that was there all along which i had been looking past.

Beauty is not subjective. It is real. It is present. The question is do we see it? Do we perceive it? When i fail to see beauty in something it is just that. I fail to see it. It is not that the beauty isn’t there. If this is true (which i believe it is) then the gift of community is that other people help us see beauty where we cannot yet perceive it. We are all so unique with our own God given gifts and passions that make it easy for us to see beauty in those places. The biologist sees a pattern of cells and finds it stunning. I don’t know why but i want to and he can help me see it so that i too can share a little bit in this beauty that glorifies God who is Beauty himself. We must look and see, and help each other see, that we may join in worship as we acknowledge and enjoy the presence of God in this world.

Beauty: a quality of being percieved.  The perceptibality of a things truth or goodness. (Smit or someone she quoted and i didn’t write down;)

is there a case for worship?

What they say is true… alcohol leads only to trouble: tonight zoomy and neuro came round with the beers and it all ended in a big stimulating conversation about worship – we should have known.

Anyway it’s got me thinking and i need your thoughts. OK preface – before you all go off on one about worship being a lifestyle ya da ya da, i agree but for now i’m talking about worship in the sense of praise times.

Why do we sing in church? what is the purpose? is it just because it’s enjoyable, nice, emotional? Is the aim of the time of praise (whatever that looks like) to help people ‘connect’ with God? What does it mean to ‘connect’ with God? dunno. How does our worship ‘praise’ God? Is it only ‘praise’ when our hearts are in the ‘right place’? is it only praise when you feel something?… too many questions.

If i were to lead worship in your church what is the goal? I want God to be worshiped. but what does it really mean to worship God? is he worshiped when we say the right words? or play the right notes? God’s grace is expressed in his kindness to us. As we allow God to be God by receiving that grace then He is glorified, worshiped. Our song both gives birth to worship and is our response to it, it is not worship in and of itself. As we lead worship in our churches we should be creating a space for people to remember and consider who God is and what he has done and is doing that we would drink deeply form Him. Like piper says we glorify God by enjoying God. Our praise times therefore should reflect and point to God, both in it’s beauty and truth. This is why Beethoven or sufjan stevens or seeing an elderly lady reach across the table with her fork to give her husband a bite of a burger at a church bbq leads me to worship. why? because to see beauty is to acknowledge it and to acknowledge beauty and truth leads me towards God.

I do believe that there is something very powerful about corporate worship, we need each other, i need to hear you speak truth to me when i am full of doubt and fear, but it’s not just individually, we are a body and we need together to acknowledge the truth of who God is.

these are the beginnings of stiring thoughts in my mind… some are good some are rubbish you can go and figure it out as long as you come back and tell me the answer. maybe it’s all a big farse and we need never sing a song of praise again… if not why not? or maybe there is a much wider scope for our praise times, maybe next time i’ll blast some sigur ros from the speakers…  Small corner, i definately expect a response from you!

prompted by zoomtard

1. One movie that made you laugh

Little miss sunshine

2. One movie that made you cry

life is beautiful

3. One movie you loved when you were a child

good morning vietnam

4. One movie you’ve seen more than once

reign over me

5. One movie you loved, but were embarrassed to admit it

step mom!

6. One movie you hated

coyote ugly

7. One movie that scared you

the ring

8. One movie that bored you

stardust

9. One movie that made you happy

little women

10. One movie that made you miserable

dancer in the dark

11. One movie you weren’t brave enough to see

the exorcist

12. One movie character you’ve fallen in love with

paikea (whale rider)

13. The last movie you saw

empire of the sun

14. The next movie you hope to see

the mission (its on my shelf waiting to go)

a waffly riddle about Life

Darkness is the absence of light, but it is nothing more than that. Light however is much more than the absence of darkness. It is present, it is real. In the same way I think death is the absence of life. Life however, is something so much more than the absence of death. If this is true then death is really a life without life rather than something in itself. If that is true then in order to really understand death we need to understand true life.

Maybe it’s just my twisted brain but to me there is a subtle yet significant difference between trying to escape darkness and responding to the invitation of life. Too many times I have heard horror stories of what hell will be like with the hope that I will be so terrified of going there that I’ll run away from it by giving my life to God. But if I do this am I really responding to God’s invite to life or am I simply viewing God as someone who provides an escape ticket from something bad? Hell is hell because it is absent of God. Surely God wants more for us than to escape something bad, he wants us to know (with all of our experience and being) something good. He wants us to know HIM. THAT is his agenda for us. “I have come that you would have life to the full”. These words are so familiar and yet they are flippin astounding.

To talk about hell and death without talking about the kingdom and life misunderstands death entirely. It can’t be fully understood without the other, in the same way that we can never understand darkness apart from light. We cant understand what it means to be outside the kingdom if we don’t understand the kingdom. Perhaps this is just a wordy riddle that says something that is already obvious, or maybe it’s a load of crap but either way I have had a lot of fun thinking about light and darkness when I should probably have been doing something a little more productive!

Ps I have a question – it is not possible to understand darkness without knowing about light, but it is possible to understand light without knowing about darkness? (interchangable with life and death) I would like to know the answer to this.

if you didn’t understand a word of this here is a Basic summary – ‘always talk more about the kingdom and life and God.’

the end.

moving goalposts 2

(evolving from goalposts 1 comments.) So while some of you continue debate on ‘goalposts 1′ entry, I have been thinking about this idea of ‘tipping the balance too far’ in terms of our evangelism. in-case you missed this part Evangelism is sometimes seen as a scale with ’speaking the gospel’ at one end and ‘living the gospel’ at the other end. To emphasise one side more than the other is considered dangerous, and so we need to live in the middle where we have the balance of both speaking and living the gospel.

I really do appreciate that this idea is rooted in the concern that the gospel needs to be ‘proclaimed’ I agree. But I’m not actually sure what the ‘danger’ is in focusing on living the gospel? The only way there is a danger is if ’speaking the gospel’ is somehow separate to ‘living it’. I am not at all convinced that it is. And yet when we put the two on opposite ends of the scale we are creating that very separation. This, i fear is the real danger.

If we think that it is possible to live the gospel and not speak it then our idea of living the gospel is distorted. But the words and conversations that flow out of our incarnational lives are different to the kind of words and conversations that flow out of our felt need to ’speak’. The former i believe is a far truer proclamation. Im not sure we should be settling for anything less.

My fear is that the proclamations born out of a sense that we have to ‘proclaim’ are not proclamations at all. These are forced and often detached conversations. This does not feel like love to me. If we are speaking the gospel or encouraging others to do so in order to keep this ‘balanced’ life then surely the focus is on us not the person we speak to? Why do we put pressure on each other to have these kind of conversations? I think these kind of conversations are the very reason that many people think they are scared of ’speaking the gospel’.

But ask people if they are scared of a conversation with their best friend, or their dad or their next door neighbour that is natural, and honest, a conversation that seeks answers to deep questions, that wrestles, that cries and laughs and wonders. The kind of conversation that spills out of our mouths rather than being draged out kicking and screaming. I don’t think we are as hesitant to speak the gospel as we think we are, we are often simply resistant to words that settle for anything less that true proclamations. In my (not fully formed) opinion, rightly so, for a proclamation that is disconcected from incarnation is perhaps no proclamation at all.

i reckon speaking and living are not so much opposite ends of a scale as they are on the same end of the scale (or as zoomy so beautifully put it “one lives inside the other”).

ready to hear your thoughts and arguments and willing to be wrong…

(i’m getting the hang of this paragraph thing!)

is your freedom too small?

Our idea of freedom is too small. We covet a freedom where we can do whatever we want when we want. Where we can indulge ourselves in every way without limit. Where we can say what we really think without having to ‘choose our words’. But is this freedom really freedom at all? In reality it is perpetual chaos. it destroys us and those around us. it diminishes humanity in every way. In reality this kind of freedom creates worlds and people that we long to be free from. In reality our freedom enslaves us.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free”. God didn’t set us free to do that which destroys our freedom, he set us free to enjoy true freedom. It stands to reason therefore that the kind of living he has called us to is an act of true freedom. It seems contrary, that to serve and love and be patient and faithful and kind and whatever else you can think of, are tastes of true freedom, and yet the more i think about it the more i realise that i can think of no greater freedom than the experience of sincere loving an enemy. Such freedom is only fully realised in Christ. In the words of Iron & Wine “freedom hangs like heaven over everyone”. Let your freedom grow.

who moved the goalpost?

Today i was asked the question “what are the evangelistic highlights of your year?” This is a normal and legitimate question in my slightly obscure job.  But i have to be honest with you this question drives me crazy.  The process of answering a question like this basically involves me sifting my brain to think of a story where i or someone else (preferably someone i have influenced) has had a significant conversation about Jesus with another person who does not yet call themselves a Christian.  I will score extra credit if that conversation has involved a clear explanation of sin (theirs) and the cross.  It will be even better if that conversation has happened with someone who really hates all the Jesus stuff.  In my head a story like this is the ultimate evangelistic encounter.  This is the kind of juicy stuff my friend is looking for (at least that’s what i imagine).  This is the kind of story that gets the ‘amen’s’ and the nodding heads of approval.  BUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY?! i seriously struggle with this and I’m asking for your input into my more than likely poor theology.  The reason i struggle with this question is because it puts pressure on us to have a good story, and the need to have a good story makes us shitty lovers of people.  I guess my question is ‘what really is evangelism?’  because if it’s no more than simply talking to people about Jesus then i give up.  If we make this kind of evangelism the goal then we’ve missed the point of evangelism itself.  I want people to become fully themselves, fully who they are created by God to be.  People will flourish in such ways under nothing less than love.  Sincere love.  Jesus said the greatest command is love.  Why do we make the greatest command ‘to talk about sin and the cross to as many people as possible and quickly?’  Who changed the goal?  The truth is there are many stories of love that i think are impacting people in a way that is drawing them into the kingdom life they were made for.  Can i tell these stories in answer to my friend’s question? Don’t get me wrong, i love nothing more than to have conversations with friends about God.  I really love it.  But these conversations can never be my goal otherwise it wouldn’t really be one of those conversations at all.  My goal must never be anything more or less that to love sincerely from my heart.  I want the question to be not “what is your evangelistic encounter?” but rather “how are you loving the people around you?”   I am angry, i am sorry for the long rant!  I would love to hear your thoughts though!

Guilt is a poor manager…

It often makes me laugh when I see parents play the adult card “because i said so that’s why!”.  But I think the church has often played an equally inadequate card.  Guilt is too often used to motivate and manage our behaviour.  We are told what we can or cant do, but sometimes we have no idea why (other than ‘because the bible says so that’s why!’).  We have a vague sense of things that are BAD and a vague sense of things that are good.  There are many flaws with this, one of them as Laura Winner points out is that ‘if guilt is the only resource the church has given us to diagnose sin… then in the absence of guilt we will simply keep on doing whatever it is we shouldn’t be doing.’ 

Surely if we better understood what it meant to be truly human, or if we better understood the beauty of God, or the value of each other we would make better sense of the way we are called to live and we would live better lives.  I want my life to be more than a series of decisions based on avoiding guilt or even a series of decisions based on avoiding getting it wrong.  That is never the goal.  The things God calls me to are invitations to glorify him, and therefore they are invitations to life.  To give life to others rather than rob it from them.  To impact the world around us in ways that helps it flourish rather than diminish.

When we use guilt to manage people we have reduced God to something he is not, and we live mediocre lives.  We need to restore our muddy unformed images of God and the life that is truly life.  We need to stop using guilt and fear as motivators – whether it’s about salvation or social action.  Beats me why we choose to settle for guilt over seeking the answer to the ‘why?’ in the eyes of our Father.

christians aren’t angry enough

If there’s one thing that’s worse than the wrong kind of emotion it’s no emotion at all. How often do we watch the news or read the paper and feel nothing? We intellectually acknowledge the tragedy but we refuse to enter into the struggle.

I have spent my growing up years believing that to be christian means to find a way to get rid of dark emotions and replace them with positive ones. if someone wrongs you, turn the other cheek… love, have the joy and peace of Christ… But let me tell you about two of my favourite memories:

1) when i was 9 i was innocent as children should be. There was a boy in my class (who was a lot more ’street wise’ and known as the school bully) who persistently relayed to me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I persistently relayed to him that i wanted no such thing! One day after school i was waiting at the gates for my mother to pick me up, she was running late as was his mother. As we waited he came and grabbed me by the throat and pushed me against the wall and called me a long list of degrading names (many of which i didn’t know what they meant!). As he ran off i stared to cry. My mother was shocked to find me getting into the car with tears running down my face. On the journey home as i told her what had happened she got angry, REALLY angry. Usually my mothers’ anger was a signal to flee, but not this time… this time her anger was safe and warm and strong. She was angry at the way her daughter had been hurt. Her anger told me, “it’s not ok what just happened to you”. Her anger told me “i’m sorry”. Her anger was for me.

2) when i was a student i along with my family had been treated very poorly by a Church leader. As i talked to a friend about it he listened intently then he sat back in his chair and with tears rising in his eyes he said “bastard!”. I laughed with shock, i think he shocked himself too, but although his response was not necessarily the right one, something about it brought great healing to me. His honest response was similar to that i felt from my mother all those years before – again his anger said “this is not ok”, his anger was one that wanted to protect me from hurt and wounds. He was willing to be honest about the injustice and betrayal of the situation and in so doing he allowed me to enter into the same honest struggle.

I tell these stories to illustrate a point. An absence of anger in the face of injustice is inhumane. If my mother had felt nothing i would have been far more deeply betrayed and wounded. BUT it doesn’t stop there! IF our anger leads us only to retribution then we are missing out on its redemptive power and allowing greater damage to be done.

In order to truly hate evil we must hate the evil for the perpetrator as well as the victim. I must be able to feel sorrow at the damage done to those who DO wrong as well as for those to whom wrong is done.

We need to become more angry. We need to become so angry that we move toward desire and hope for reconciliation and healing where evil will lose all power. We need to hate evil so much that we desire more for those who have wronged us, we need to hate it so much that we are willing to be used by God in calling that person into more of who they were created to be. only here will evil truly be destroyed. We will not become such an instrument of redemption unless we are willing to enter honestly into the struggle of pain and injustice in our world and acknowledge the full consequence of harm. It is a bloodier battle than the cycle of revenge, but it is a taste of heaven to see darkness swallowed up in life.